This journal entry happened March 11th, which was a while ago. So don't be freaked out or anything. I just wanted to let you guys catch up to date one what's been happening. Okay? Okay!

 

March 11th, 2007

 

Well, I didn't have a choice. I had to go to the hospital. I tried not to go! I tried so hard to convince my family that I didn't need to go. I tried to convince myself that I didn't need to go. It was just a cyst. It was just internal bleeding. It was just level 8 pain. I could deal with it. Right? I mean, what would the hospital do? Put me on morphine and watch my vitals?

Then today came along. The pain dropped from level 8 to level 5, but it wouldn't go away. My insides still felt like they were bleeding, and I could not even make it to the cafeteria for food. My common sense finally caught up with my stubbornness, and with the help of my Mom screaming at me over the phone, I called the Medic and asked to be driven to the ER.

I got there at 1:30 pm, signed in, and sat down. And after we had figured out that giving me certain medicines would kill me thanks to allergies, I was ready to sit in the waiting room for half and hour, gripping my stomach and hoping the pain would leave. Then my name was called---and proficiently garbled---and I was led to the Emergency Room #3. Although I was still hurting, I made a good show of acting strong, and by the time I was dressed in my hospital gown and sitting on the hospital bed, I felt like I could go home and I'd be fine. But I was still hurting, and pretending like I wasn't.

About an hour later, the doctor came in. He apologized for being late, and asked all the embarrassing questions that doctors seem to have a knack of doing. He was talking so fast my brain felt like a trainwreck was coming, and I tried not to get annoyed. Turns out, he was the only one on call, and someone else was having some serious problems. My little cyst pain would have to wait until the more serious stuff was dealt with. But I was fine with that. I understood that. Heck, even if I came first, someone who might be having a heart attack takes priority over me and my pain, and if any doctor thought otherwise, they deserve to be slapped.

By the time the doctor stopped speed-talking, he suggested I accept some pain medication before they did all their tests to see how serious my burst cyst was. I had three choices. I could take some medicine by swallowing pills, I could get a shot, or I could get an IV. I definitely didn't want an IV, and since the medicine taken by mouth causes problems for me, I decided to take a shot. Satisfied, the doctor left and said a Nurse would be with me soon.

"Soon" turned out to be about an hour or so later. She came in cheerfully, and informed me I'd be getting a shot in my "toosh" area. Suddenly, I felt a ton more freaked out about the whole shot situation. Trying to convince the Nurse that I was fine didn't work, cause all she did was touch me gently and I cried out. Next thing I know, I'm lying on my side, gripping the hand of the Medic who had driven me to the ER (another student here at college), and trying to be calm as the large needle was inserted into my hip. (Okay, not ACTUALLY my toosh, just my hip) What happened next was rather blurry.

The medicine was a step-up from morphine, apparently, so it worked better. I began to discover that my pain was going away....and that I was feeling much heavier than usual. My eyes closed, and when I opened them, another hour had passed. And my stomach was growling. I hadn't eaten. But I was determined not to let that bother me, and tried to put on a good face for the doctors and nurses as they ran their tests.

When I was ready to go, it was 7:30 pm, and the Medic was smiling at me with a kind yet amused smile. She informed me that I had said "thank you" to everyone who came in, and was trying to talk to people about school. I don't remember. But finally, I was allowed to leave. I had to stop for food on the way, cause the cafeteria was closed at 8:00, and I was so dizzy from the pain medicine that I could hardly think.

Now it is past 10:00, and I am still dizzy and hurting. But I know that I'm doing okay, and that my cyst is gone and the fluid and blood is getting reabsorbed into my body fine. I'll have to take some SERIOUS pain medication that will make me dizzy, so my homework might not be so good for a while. But at least I don't have to deal with the pain.

And now....before I collapse in my bed, I want to say that I am very bummed. Why? Cause in all the hospital craziness, I missed the free John Reuben concert at the Coffee House. And I wanted so badly to go. Oh well. Opportunity missed.

Have a great day people.

God bless you all. But I am losing control of the ability to think. Good night!

 

.....end update from March 11th.

 

As for an update on what's going on TODAY......

 

I just had a ballet rehersal! My ballet class here at college is putting on a recital called Dance Fest. And we perform tomorrow. Man I am so tired! You guys do NOT want to know how wet my back is right now. haha! Okay nevermind. Anyway, finals are around the bend! So keep me in prayer!

 

God bless ya!

 

Rika out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wow. Hurricane Katrina. You know, when Mom first said to my sister, Katrina, who was at college in Jackson MS, that there was a hurricane named Katrina heading her way, I didn't believe her. Neither did my sister. I thought it was all some big joke unilt I saw it on tv. And now look at the damage Katrina caused. Its horrifying. I can't help but feel disgusted that they'd name something so destructive the same name as my older sister who I love so much. It's sickening.

 

But she's okay, thank the Lord. I guess not very many people can say that.

 

For all of you who commented on my site, -(*sniff* I'm so touched!)- I was camping. Its one of those things you do with your family. You know: Packing up some food and blankets and clothes into the back of the truck and hauling the Tent-trailer out to the beach over Labor Day weekend to try and escape life for just a little bit longer before school starts...

 

So I was there, trying to get a tan or a sunburn (I didn't care which) just to show I actually was at the beach for a week. But sadly, I didn't hardly get anything. I hate being awfully white, with skin that doesn't even color SLIGHTLY when I'm out in the sun. Seriously, I could put cooking oil on my arms and still get nothing. I mean, the miniature sunburn I "proudly" bear on my scalp is all I have to show. (that and a ton of mosquito bites! yuck!) And truthfully, it's not something I'm proud of. I'm still white and boring, but now I have a scalp that itches. Fun stuff. Oh well. It's life. All you people who have that beautiful, dark-or-olive-colored-skin out there, YOU ARE SO LUCKY!

 

*sigh*

 

Oh well. Here is my update at any rate.

 

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you thought you knew where you were going, and then you found out you're even more lost than you thought? My mom had a good word picture for it. She said:

 

Its like you're a climber, trying to get across a ravine, and you've thrown a ton of ropes across the ravine. You throw the ropes to the other side, and they latch onto something. You can't see where they go, or what they're latched onto to, but they are the choices and paths you've chosen for your life. Across the ravine is your future. You don't know what lies ahead, but these ropes are your way across.

 

And now image this: The One who sees your future, you past, and your present tells you to take a risk. He gives you the choice of cutting the ropes. Let me guide you, He says. I know what's best for you.

 

And you stand on the edge of the ravine, with the plans you've made and the risk He's given you. What do you do? Do you crawl across on your ropes, to whatever lies beyond, be it good or bad? Or do you take out ytour knife and cut yourself loose, giving Him the chance to bless you?

 

I faced that choice this week. I faced the choice of trying to live my life on my own, not knowing where my choices will lead me, or if I will get what I really want in the end...Or... cutting those ties, tossing God the ropes and saying "You know best Lord" and letting Him guide me. He knows me better than I know myself, and He knows how to bless my life and give me the desires of my heart in the end.

 

I don't know how I managed to do it, to mentally cut those ropes and say "Take my future God, and don't let me take it back." I know that He will help me make the right choices. I know He'll help me choose what college to go to, help me find the right man to be with for the rest of my life, to help me write my books, to help me become the artist I'ce always wanted to be.... I know I can trust Him because He made me, and He gave me those desires. And now I know that I'll get them in the end because I'm not alone.

 

It's life changing...to stop trying to get to heaven on my own, to stop trying to be perfect on my own. I can't. I know it. But it's hard to finally say: "God, help me."

 

Maybe you don't understand. I can't expect you to. But now I know that I just made the first good decision this whole year.

Hello one and all. It is high time for an update. Oh, and thank you Marlon for the comment, but I don't speak Spanish so I don't understand. I'm sorry.

 

Has anyone read Reveries of a Bachelor by IK Marvel? It is so beautifully written! I picked it up from our bookshelf just last night and started reading the preface. (there are three of them) Even the prefaces were so beautifully and masterfully written that they inspired me to pursue excellent writting. I stared at the old book in my hands thinking, "Why don't people write like  this anymore?". I mean, why don't people write like they used to? My mom answered this question with her opinion that people write simpler sentances because they think people wont understand it if they write a complex sentance.

 

Well, if you're writing a children's book, of course you wouldn't use complex sentances. But we're not children anymore! Why do we need books and sentances to be simplified so that we can "understand them"? Are we really that thick? I think not. I think that excellent writing doesn't have to be extremely complex, but not extremely simple either!

 

I've been comparing, today, different books from different periods of time, and I have come to this conclusion. Now, I may be wrong about this, make no mistake--often I can make wrong assumptions. But this is what I am led to believe after my study of writing styles. :

 

 Not only has writing gotten simpler, but there is much less heart in detail. People (those who go to school generally) complain that they don't like reading "boring descriptions of scenery like Tolkein uses in Lord Of The Rings." So they settle for something that has a description somewhat like this: "The woods were dark and musty, and Tristin felt shivers go up and down his back just walking through it." Or maybe something even more boring, that doesn't hardly give you any detail except that the main character is in a forest that he doesn't want to be in.

 

And my discovery has shown that more and more books that come out for us to indulge ourselves in have less heart in them, and more just story-line. Of course story is important. But it doesn't build, wax, and wane like it used to, or fully describe a world so real, you can create a vivid picture in you head and be able to feel and understand what is going on further than just the story-line. People are too caught up in adventure to care about detail. They want things to be quick so they don't have to take their time reading something rich and exciting!

 

I am very disappointed with today's novels that come out. But I am being too negative. I am being too critical. I am sorry. My intention was to just write down what I had noticed and discovered. What I have just written is probably mostly opinion. And maybe there is some truth to it. I think there is, but many would disagree. I' will say as a conclusion that the writings of today are lacking in quality, detail, and the richness that there used to be. And I miss it. I wish I could write like that, full of rich content and excellent writing, but I am not that advanced when it comes to writing. I can only dream about it, and attempt to write something that might intrest perhaps one person somewhere in the world.

 

At any rate, my site, which has always been "A Random Set of Words," has finally found its meaning. I know now, what I was trying to do with this site. I was trying to do something like that of Ik Marvel, when he wrote his Reveries. I wanted to write down my thoughts and my songs and poems, post them up so that they don't just go to waste, sitting on a piece of paper somewhere in my room only to be thrown away mistakenly by a family member when I'm not around. I want my little doodles of writing, you might say, to mean something, and that is why I created this site.

 

I'm glad I finally know what I'm doing. I'm making myself my own little Reveries....Reveries of a Bachelorette......... ^_^

Now that Emily has seen the song I wrote for her, I can enter an update. I'm going to do what this site has been missing. For, the name of my site is A Random Set Of Words... so why don't I have those little poems I used to write every entry? Oh well. My site is random, so there may be something to do with random words randomly comming up next after these messages! Just go to Jared's! I'm sick of commercials. Especially when you want to listen to music. Does this sound familiar?

 

Hi you all... I just thought I'd post the winner of my stupid contest, and present them with the grand prize. I have several questions about myself, and a couple bonus questions.

 

I only had two contestants actually compete, Emily and Stev. Thanx guys. Wanna know who won? I'll tell you. Sadly Em, you only got8 questions right, but your chicken crossing the road answer was pretty good, so you get a bonus point. That's nine. Stev, you answered 11 questions right, but your chicken crossing the road one was... um... coool, but it didn't make sense. So no bonus. Plus, you're my brother, so you had an unfair advantage. because of that, and the fact that I was there when you were taking the quiz, gives you less points. DSo that's minus three points. Add it all up, and..... E MILY IS THE WINNER!!!!!!!!! (Oh, and bye the way, Tashka entered hers AFTER the contest was over, and though she would have won, it's too late for. But, I liked the chicken crossing the road answer if the spelling weren't so bad. ;) okay anyway...)

 

"Half a cheer for Klaymen! Hip, hip, hoo!"

 

Emily, in honor of your winning, I will now post for you the song that I have written just for you.

 

 

There are those times

When I don't want to talk, don't want to live,

And no one understands how I feel

And the walls of the room threaten to come

Close enough to crush me

 

But God has given me a gift

He's given me a friend

And now I never have to worry about geing alone

He's given me you

The best friend I've ever had

And I thank Him for you every day, Emily

 

I used to think

That I wanted to be popular, to be cool

And I could never get there

I could never be what I so desperately

Wanted to be

 

But God's given me a gift

He's given me a friend

And now I never have to worry about being alone

He's given me you

The best friend I've ever had

And I thank Him for you every day...

 

Who needs to be popular

With a friend as caring as you?

And who needs to be cool

To the rest of the world

When your best friend thinks you're cool

Just the way you are?

 

God's given me you

The best friend I've ever had

And I thank Him for you everyday...

Emily

Have you ever experienced the sudden joy of finding you can sleep in when you wake up, and instead of having to worry about life or what the day brings, you fall back asleep and dream about what you don't have to do today? Then you wake up to eat a breakfast that, because it takes you so long to decide what to eat, you end up eating it at lunch time?

 

That's pretty much how today has been going. I tell you, it is such a relief to know that when your mom is exhausted from jet-lag, and tells you it's a day of rest, you can have the day to yourself.

 

Yeah, I had to drive my poor sister to her summer math class, but because I haven't driven in two weeks, it was a relief. I finally felt in control of something again. I am finally beginning to feel that my life is still good, and that God is still in control.

 

I know now, that even if I don't get to go to Ukraine in the fall, I will probably go in the Summer of next year. I can't hardly wait!

 

I know you all are probably all sick of me talking about the Ukraine, but I love that country, and it's hard for me not to think about it.

 

Well, on behalf of those who just DONT read long blogs, I will end my blablabla-ing right now. I'll update later! Have a good day and a good week. :)